A Cajun’s Family Tree
His dizzy aunt…..Vertie Geaux
The brother who loved prunes…..Gotta Geaux
The brother with constipation problems…..Neaux Geaux
The cousin who worked at a convenience store…..Stop N Geaux
The grandfather from Yugoslavia…..U Geaux
The nephew from Illinois…..She Car Geaux
His magician uncle…..Where Diddy Geaux
The Mexican cousin…..A Me Geaux
The Mexican cousin’s American sister…..Gring Geaux
The nephew who drove an armored car…..Loomis Far Geaux
The uncle serving time in Angola prison…..Lemme Geaux
The ballroom dancer…..Tang Geaux
The bird-lover uncle…..Flo Ming Geaux
His over confident nephew…..E. Geaux
The fruit-loving nephew…..Mang Geaux
An aunt who’s an optimist…..Way To Geaux
The bouncy little nephew…..Poe Geaux
A sister who loves disco…..Go Geaux
The niece who had an oversized van…..Winnie Bay Geaux
The Italian grandmother…..Day Geaux
Crudgemudgeon
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Peas
The other day I went shopping at a well-known vegetable market for some 'maters and avocado. I happened to notice next to the cashier a bin of greenish/brownish peas marked "DuBois peas-$1.89 lb". I asked the cashier "what are these? I've never heard of them before? She replied "Well, them there are DewBoys peas from up around Chumukla."
"I think you pronounce the name Dew-Bwa."
"Say what? Dew-WHAT?"
"I said it's pronounced Dew-Bwa."
She walked around her counter, leaned over real close to the peas and said "Sure ain't spelled like "bwa", is spelled like "boys".
"Well, it's a French name DuBois...DuBwa."
She looked at me rolling her eyes "Well if you say so..."
So I asked her "So how do you cook DuBois peas?"
(ready?)
"Well, first you blanch the DUBWA peas......."
Crudmudgeon
"I think you pronounce the name Dew-Bwa."
"Say what? Dew-WHAT?"
"I said it's pronounced Dew-Bwa."
She walked around her counter, leaned over real close to the peas and said "Sure ain't spelled like "bwa", is spelled like "boys".
"Well, it's a French name DuBois...DuBwa."
She looked at me rolling her eyes "Well if you say so..."
So I asked her "So how do you cook DuBois peas?"
(ready?)
"Well, first you blanch the DUBWA peas......."
Crudmudgeon
Friday, February 6, 2009
Museum Duty
Since last summer I have been doing volunteer work at a museum in my town. This museum is large and remarkable in its contents, and receives hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of visitors every day. It has an impressive number of volunteers, mostly men and almost all retirees, and some are in their late '80's and early '90's. I work at the information desk in the mornings twice a week on the average.
I enjoy the duty at the information desk because I get to greet incoming visitors of all types, races, nationalities, genders (only 2), socio-economic levels, and young beautiful women with long legs and impressive chests. I guess you could call me a "people person" because I truly love to interact eloquently with those who stand before us at the information desk, such as:
"Welcome to the museum."
"Where are you from?" I am required to use incorrect grammar sometimes.
"The restrooms are around the corner over there."
"I'm sorry, you can't bring that bottle of water in the museum."
"DON'T RUN!!"
"No, no one has turned in a blue cellphone. Where did you lose it? Did you go back there and look?"
After a few weeks of this, I had picked up a few phrases from other volunteers, such as:
"Yes, you can take pictures, but just don't take them off the walls."
and, said to an obvious well married couple,
"Is this the first visit here for you and your daughter?"
Both statements must be made with an absolutely straight face.
My only fear, and it is real, is that the recipients of my hilarity will return to the desk later, and, not remembering who they are, I will repeat the same joke. I know all stand ups share this very real concern. I recall an occasion of 25 years ago attending a Phyllis Diller performance at a local Holiday Inn, when, after a very funny hour show, after an intermission, we listened in stony silence to Ms. Diller telling the very same jokes told in the 1st show. She had assumed we would be a different audience.
Now, to address the subject of "long legs and impressive chests". I'm sure that I, like most males over a certain age (I'm mid 60's), can appreciate dispassionately younger females, especially like those described above, as beautiful images of God's creation. Well, I thought so...until I heard volunteer Henry (age 95) espress his opinion in this regard: "Holy Shit !! Check out them hooters !!"
I enjoy the duty at the information desk because I get to greet incoming visitors of all types, races, nationalities, genders (only 2), socio-economic levels, and young beautiful women with long legs and impressive chests. I guess you could call me a "people person" because I truly love to interact eloquently with those who stand before us at the information desk, such as:
"Welcome to the museum."
"Where are you from?" I am required to use incorrect grammar sometimes.
"The restrooms are around the corner over there."
"I'm sorry, you can't bring that bottle of water in the museum."
"DON'T RUN!!"
"No, no one has turned in a blue cellphone. Where did you lose it? Did you go back there and look?"
After a few weeks of this, I had picked up a few phrases from other volunteers, such as:
"Yes, you can take pictures, but just don't take them off the walls."
and, said to an obvious well married couple,
"Is this the first visit here for you and your daughter?"
Both statements must be made with an absolutely straight face.
My only fear, and it is real, is that the recipients of my hilarity will return to the desk later, and, not remembering who they are, I will repeat the same joke. I know all stand ups share this very real concern. I recall an occasion of 25 years ago attending a Phyllis Diller performance at a local Holiday Inn, when, after a very funny hour show, after an intermission, we listened in stony silence to Ms. Diller telling the very same jokes told in the 1st show. She had assumed we would be a different audience.
Now, to address the subject of "long legs and impressive chests". I'm sure that I, like most males over a certain age (I'm mid 60's), can appreciate dispassionately younger females, especially like those described above, as beautiful images of God's creation. Well, I thought so...until I heard volunteer Henry (age 95) espress his opinion in this regard: "Holy Shit !! Check out them hooters !!"
Monday, February 2, 2009
First post
Hi there !
(Wow! How lame is that? )
OK...well....Hello all.
(I don't think so)
Uh....you see...this is my first try at blogging, and, well...I'm a LITTLE NERVOUS.
(You're pathetic)
OKOKOK....I wouldn't be here if it wasn't on a dare I could care less about blogging I've got way better things to do places to go people to meet I don't need to do this I'm a bz guy important things to do every day helping the world so why do a blog nobody reads nobody would read my drivel anyway I mean I'm not James Joyce my shrink says I have an inferiority complex but he only says that because he hates me I know he does does does does %&#$##$&......#$%&+#
(I'm better now)
Crudgemudgeon
(Wow! How lame is that? )
OK...well....Hello all.
(I don't think so)
Uh....you see...this is my first try at blogging, and, well...I'm a LITTLE NERVOUS.
(You're pathetic)
OKOKOK....I wouldn't be here if it wasn't on a dare I could care less about blogging I've got way better things to do places to go people to meet I don't need to do this I'm a bz guy important things to do every day helping the world so why do a blog nobody reads nobody would read my drivel anyway I mean I'm not James Joyce my shrink says I have an inferiority complex but he only says that because he hates me I know he does does does does %&#$##$&......#$%&+#
(I'm better now)
Crudgemudgeon
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